June 10, 2016
Oh, lord, honey, my brain is in overdrive with the news Peggy sent me on the Internet about this Vanderbilt University professor and some of his scientist buddies in Oak Ridge what have discovered a new element on the periodic table–to tell you the truth I don’t exactly know what those words mean but Peggy told me it was a very big deal because element 117 is to be named Tennessine and Tennessee will be just the second state to ever have an element named after it–Californium, element 98, was discovered in the 1950’s, according to the article Peggy sent me and I guess that means it was named after California, and oh lord, honey, I will just confess it here, I really did not type all those big words myself but I just cut and pasted them from the article so you could read them the way they were written and not the way my old gnarly hands might type them if I tried to do it –“the name of Tennessee will be in the periodic table in textbooks of physics and chemistry worldwide forever,” according to that Vandy professor but here’s what Peggy said was really important, “Its symbol will be T’s”–oh lord, Honey, do you think some of those scientists might get on their computers looking for Tennessine and come upon us Trollops wearing our T’s shirts
and get us all confused with that Tennessine what they call a “super-heavy element” and put us in some kind of experiment and we would just blow ourselves up? It’s just too much information for my feeble mind to contend with so I think I will just go get me a margarita and sit on my divan and cool off from all this hot weather that we are having that some people say is coming from Climate Change and others in my household (not to mention any names, but by the initials of E.R.) say is just liberal left wing propaganda and whoever said that cows passing gas could ever cause the earth to warm up but to tell you the truth, something sure does seem to be making that happen, but honey, I think the real reason is because of all that heat being raised by Hillary and Donald, who just do not seem to have any manners at all and are just calling each other bad names and I think if they ever do get in the same place and start to try to debate, one of them is likely to just take a pie and squish it in the face of the other one–or I think what Hillary will do is to sneak a pair of scissors in her grandmother’s purse and then instead of shaking his hand she will just reach up and cut off his bangs and he might turn out to be just like Sampson when Delilah cut that boy’s hair or some such stuff. Oh, I sure hope I am watching my TV if that happens, but if it’s on Fox News which is the only channel E.R. allows us to watch, then they will probably cut away and not show it or some such thing.
Oh, and Honey, speaking of TV–did you see where that “Nashville ” show that was dropped by that other channel after 4 years has been picked up by CMT and now we are for sure guaranteed to have 22 more episodes about all the important pieces of life in Music City. Honey, Peggy says this is almost as good as having Downton Abbey back–I don’t know about that because I just could not get into watching all those swells but I do love my friends on Nashville.
So now, I am going to close and Mr. You-know-who has sat his self right down on my foot to let me know what time it is, so I will say goodnight.
PS Somebody asked me how I could still have Strudel around being so active when he must be about 18 years old since he was four years old when Proud Flesh ended. Here’s the scoop–this one is Strudel II.
I have Strudel I’s ashes on my mantel and when I get cremated they will mix those ashes with mine and we will be together for all time–but I think I may have mentioned this to you before. Anyway, I don’t think I will tell II this, so please don’t talk about it the next time we are together if II is in the room.